Friday, September 19, 2014

Tips for Setting Aside Some 'Me' Time: Finding the True You



Every person needs ‘me’ time, but trying to find it in a busy day is not always easy.

Consider the following tips for finding the true 'me' in 'you':

Do not try to be everything to everyone.

It is never possible to be everything to everyone, regardless of how much you want to do so or how hard you try. You do not have to be everything to anyone in particular, either. If you are true to yourself first, in other words true to the ‘me’ in you and place yourself first, you will be more able to be what you have to be for others. For example, a caregiver has to take care of him or herself in order to be able to care for others properly.

Begin by being ‘you’.

Your family, friends and others love you for who you are, not what you do for them, so being ‘you’ or ‘me’ in yourself, is important. No one really wants you to be someone other than who you are. Try saying no. Recognizing the real reason why they love you, family members and friends will begin to see you as the person who you really are, not as their servant, the one who tries to do everything for them or to be everything to them. For example, a daughter thinks her mother should be responsible for taking care of her clothes, but there is a time when she has to learn how to do it herself. Allowing her daughter to take responsibility for her clothes frees up ‘me’ time for her mother.

Love yourself.

You are exactly as God created you. Since He loves you, He wants you to love your self. When you love and accept yourself exactly as you are, you will not fret about trying to do everything for everyone else to gain attention, affection or love. You do not need the attention, affection or love of others, particularly if it is going to be detrimental to your health and well being. There are times when you can and should walk away. Immediately, that will free up some of your ‘me’ time to be yourself.

Take a good look in the mirror.

Do you like the ‘me’ that gazes back at you? Does it appear to be harried, frustrated, angry or anxious? Is this the true you? If it is, you may be able to recognize your own need for ‘me’ time and remind yourself that you need it. How you look often reflects the ‘me’ in you. Plan to make some serious changes, even if it entails creating a schedule to do so. For example, a young mother who is breastfeeding an infant needs to have her haired trimmed. The constant demands of the baby do not allow her any ‘me’ time. Looking in the mirror at herself, she recognizes her need for ‘me’ time and calls for an appointment. Her infant can stay with a family member or babysitter for short periods of time between feedings.

Do what you are interested in doing.

Everyone has things that he or she wants to do at different times. Finding the ‘me’ time to do them may mean creating a schedule that allows time for them. For example, an elderly woman taking care of her sick husband needs ‘me’ time to get out of the house and go golfing, on a regular basis. In order to do so, finding another caregiver who can help her may be necessary. The caregiver can help set up a schedule that works for both of them.

Set priorities.

To find ‘me’ time, establishing priorities has to become a priority. Determining priorities, frees up ‘me’ time. For example, to enable a teenager's parents to spend quality time together, there are many things like cutting the grass, washing the car and doing dishes. that a teenager can do. Perhaps hiring a neighborhood teenager is appropriate. Postponing a few things for later or for another day is a viable option when children are too young to help.

Relax

Even on a busy workday with a hectic schedule, there can be ‘me’ time moments. Taking five’ is a good rule of thumb. For example, an office worker takes five minutes to sit down and have a cup of tea after work, before starting supper. This allows her ‘me’ time to release stress and relax. Taking ‘me’ time later in the evening, allows her to sort out the events of the day and make plans for the next one. ‘Me’ time might be spent reading.

Exercise

Exercise is an excellent time to have ‘me’ time, even when it involves including others in a special program of some kind. For example, a mother with a small child may go to a pool where they can play, exercise and relax in the water together. She has her moment of ‘me’ time, but still cares for her child properly, while she exercises.

Be kind to the ‘me’ in you.

Most people who are kind to others, are not necessarily kind to themselves, as they tend to push themselves to the limit in order to do things to please others. For example, a young man who works in his father’s office wants to please his father. He ignores the ‘me’ in himself, putting himself under unnecessary stress. Talking to his father about his own needs may allow the ‘me’ in him, to come to a point where he is able to enjoy working with his father.

Have a positive attitude about ‘me’.

Maintaining a positive attitude about ‘me’ in 'you' is important, as negativity can turn into hopelessness, give a sense of helplessness and lead to depression. Look at the ‘me’ in yourself as being someone of value, merit and worth. For example, a teenage girl heads into depression because she does not see herself as a person of worth in the eyes of her employer. He is too busy to give her any attention. At the same time, others see her as a valuable employee. It takes ‘me’ time with a friend to find out that she is highly regarded. Feedback from friends is always important. 

Following these ten tips will lead you into a better understanding and appreciation of the ‘me’ that you know is the true you.


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