It is possible to overcome the
difficulties teenage parents face. Some of these difficulties include social
ostracism, isolation and insecurity. Of
course, these are not the only problems that teenage parents face, as there are
other difficulties that include the possibility of high-risk pregnancy,
problematic parenting skills, financial stress and housing. Medical and health
care costs alone can be horrendous.
Most teenagers do not make plans for a
pregnancy (1) and thus, they
are not ready to become parents, when it happens, unexpectedly. If teenagers
are aware of how many difficulties teenage parents can encounter, they tend to
become more serious about taking measures to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Ostracism can occur when
boyfriends, parents and family members, friends and others assume a negative
attitude towards an unplanned, teenage pregnancy. It can be devastating to a
teenage girl to find out that her boyfriend, who is the father of her unborn
child, turns on her or openly rejects her, when she becomes pregnant. He may
blame her for the unwanted pregnancy and refuse to assist her or to take any
responsibility for the child. He may choose to disappear.
Even when the father of the
child accepts and acknowledges the teenage pregnancy, his parents,
family and friends may still reject her and the child or children that they
have conceived out of wedlock. His parents may turn against them, forcing them
to take the responsibility for their unborn child.
Turning to her own parents for
help, the teenage girl may meet with total or partial rejection from them. They
may be ashamed of her, upset about the pregnancy, angry about the financial
implications for them or advise her that she is no longer a part of their family. Her brothers and sisters, as well as other relatives, may turn
against her and refuse to have anything to do with her or her child, when he or
she is born.
Many supposed friends turn
against teenage girls who become pregnant, either willingly or unwillingly.
Even the best of friends tend to blame a teenage girl who has been
victimized or raped.
Peer rejection occurs with
respect to teen pregnancy, because teenage peer groups are not focusing
primarily on motherhood, fatherhood or parenting. They are more
likely to focus on educational interests, exploring the world and having fun.
Many teenagers and adults, male
and female, tend to reject a teenage boy who gets a girl in trouble.
Other teenagers may maliciously
malign a teenage girl who becomes pregnant, unexpectedly. She can be ridiculed,
mocked and insulted by others, even by friends, school contacts and
neighbors. Her boyfriend, even though he chooses to stand beside her, may
become the victim of the same kind of negativity. They may both turn
into social outcasts or become the victims of violence.
A pregnant teenager may
suddenly find herself living in total isolation. No longer does she have the
positive feedback and reinforcement that she needs to receive from others, in
order to stay happy and healthy. She may have to survive on her own. Teenagers
parents may have to find a place of their own, whether they are able to
afford it or not. Single mothers may have difficulty finding a place to live.
Even the infant growing inside
her body may feel like a foreigner or a stranger to a teenage, mother-to-be.
She may be dealing with strong feelings of personal shame and anger at herself, for
allowing this to happen. She may not be feeling well and is experiencing the
symptoms and hormonal changes of pregnancy. Her self-image may be totally
altered. She may even feel suicidal, when she realizes that she has lost her
freedom.
A pregnant teenage girl may
feel insecure and not know what to do or how to cope with her life or the
reality that she is bringing a child into the world. A teenage boy may be
experiencing some of the same kinds of feelings, as all of a sudden, his world
has become different, too. He may not be ready to cope with this kind of a
transition. Even together, although they love each other, it may be difficult to cope.
Ostracism, isolation and
insecurity are common reactions to teen pregnancy, even when there is positive and
constructive support from parents, family members and friends. Part of the
reason for this is that it is not time for that kind of transition, even though
it is happening. Ideally, pregnancy is associated with marital vows.
Note that in many countries of
the world, teenage pregnancy is a norm in terms of numbers, although it may not
be the norm in terms of the moral and ethical lifestyle of that particular
culture.
Coping with teenage pregnancy
requires the personal support and protection of the community and culture that
the teenagers are living in. Parents, other family members and friends can
choose to acknowledge the reality that teenagers do have pregnancies, planned
and unplanned, all around the world and thus, be supportive of them.
It is important that there is
proper medical and health guidance, regardless of the country where the
unplanned teenage pregnancy is happening. Medical and health care
professionals are important in every country of the world, in order to assume
the educational aspect of teenage pregnancy management.
Parental guidance and
nurturing, with respect to their teenagers and others, can help to ensure that
a healthy concept of family is established and maintained.
Pre-natal care is also extremely
important, both for the health of the teenage mother-to-be and the unborn infant.
It is important that both the
mother-to-be and father-to-be are included in the community in which they live.
Ostracism should not happen to them, even though the pregnancy is unexpected.
Community health
programs should be available to help them learn proper
prenatal care. Post-natal care is also important for them. Financial support
is vital for their survival.
Feeling safe and secure during
a teenage pregnancy will help the parents-to-be envision their role as new
parents, in a positive light. They will seek the safety and security needed to
give birth and to nurture their new infant.
Conception is always a miracle
whether perceived as such or not. This is in or out of wedlock.
Each infant deserves proper prenatal and post-natal care. Parental support groups for teenagers should be encouraged
all around the world.
Social ostracism, isolation and
insecurity are difficulties that teenage parents can overcome in a setting
where there are supportive parents, other family members and friends, as well
as a community that greets all of its new members with open arms, as well as an
open heart and mind.
Love is crucial in a world that
has a global population growing in leaps and bounds with the reality of teen
pregnancies..
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