Considering the need for security, safety and looking
closely at the sleep patterns of your children, will help you to determine age
appropriate curfews for them. Security and safety are always primary reasons to
set curfews for children, at any age.
Ask yourself if your children are getting
enough sleep, as that may play an important role in their behavior. Others children in the
neighborhood may need extra security, safety and sleep, too. Are your
children and others, secure and safe in the evening without setting and
enforcing a curfew, having a late curfew or do they need an early curfew?
Children’s sleep patterns are a
determining factor with respect to establishing and enforcing appropriate
curfews for them. All children need enough sleep to function appropriately, during the daytime. Are they argumentative, fighting all the time or
manifesting other problems? They may need to be at home and in their beds at an
earlier hour.
Parents seeking guidelines to
age appropriate curfews for their children, soon find that any guidelines they
try to set and follow for their children will tend to vary, depending upon each
individual child and his or her age.
Sometimes, when there is more
than one child in a family, there can be well established, age appropriate,
curfew guidelines. These may include all of the children in the family, but if
there are marked age differences between their ages, then that may not be
possible. For example, if the children
are all older, having the same curfew for all of them may prove to be age
appropriate. Younger children in the same family may need to have an earlier
curfew.
What is the age of your
children or child?
Concern for the security of
older children often leads parents to establish definite curfews. They know
exactly what time to expect their children to be at home. This time can vary on
different days of the week. For example, an older child may have an early
curfew on school nights and one that is more lax on weekends. An older child
may also have a later curfew than a younger child, who usually needs to go to
bed earlier, in order to obtain enough sleep.
Is your child unique in some
way?
The uniqueness of each of your
children will help you to determine age appropriate guidelines for the curfews
you set as parents. For example, a child who is well mannered, well behaved and
obedient to his or her parents, is more likely to have a later curfew, than one
who is consistently disobedient.
A child, who understands and follows his or her
parents to the letter most of the time, is likely to be more secure and feel safer
at night, than a child who does not understand directives or follow parental
guidelines. Some children intentionally choose to ignore their parent’s advice.
An older child will be more
aware of his or her personal safety when out at night, than one who is younger.
Curfews become important for children, because their own feelings of security
have to do with established rules and guidelines that parents set for them.
What is the child’s circadian
rhythm or sleep pattern?
Children in a family may have
different circadian
rhythms (1) or sleep patterns
and thus, trying to set a curfew for one child may not be appropriate for
another. For example, a child who tends to be tired early in the evening should
have an early curfew, whereas another child who is never tired in the evening
may have a later curfew. Playing outside in the evening, may help that child to
sleep at night.
Is there shift work involved
meaning that you as parents, may not be home at bedtime?
Even when parents work shift
work establishing guidelines for curfews can keep children out of trouble, when
their parents are not home to supervise them. Appropriate curfews, monitored by
another responsible parent, adult or babysitter, can help to ascertain a
certain amount of peace of mind for parents who have to work odd hours. They will also help children to feel more secure.
What do your children expect
with regard to curfews?
It is important for you as
parents to sit down with your children and clarify your expectations of
curfews, bedtime hours, homework responsibilities and household chores.
Children who understand their parent’s expectations and have their curfew
guidelines explained and enforced, see their lives in a more positive light.
Talk to your children about age
appropriate curfews. Ask them what they think and feel is an age appropriate
curfew for them. Children who have helped to set their own, age appropriate
curfews know their parents and others love them.
Should a curfew be a form of
punishment?
At times, a curfew may be or seem to
be a form of punishment to children of all ages. Note that it can serve as an
effective form of punishment, as long as the children know why the curfew is being
applied and enforced.
The reasons for establishing
age appropriate curfews should be something that parents and children can
discuss together. When they understand, most children will appreciate parental
concerns. Of course, there are no hard and fast rules and some children will
still rebel and break curfews.
Ask yourself, if the area where
you and your children live is safe at night. Are there problems in the vicinity
during evening hours? Children of all ages usually comprehend the need for their own protection
through the parental use of curfews for them. At times, police are obligated to
enforce mandatory curfews, but not without good reasons like safety and
security.
Is seeking age appropriate
curfews a good idea? Yes, for reasons of security, safety and sleep, curfews
for your children could be an excellent idea, regardless of their age.
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