On Freedom: Is the Concept of Freedom Over-rated?

In response to the debate question about freedom, the answer is no.

Those who ask if the concept of freedom is over-rated have never known, what it means not to be free. Put any human being in a situation of bondage and no price is too high, to pay for his or her freedom.

In many ways, every person is in bondage in some way, although he or she may not realize it or acknowledge that reality.

"What are people in bondage to?"

How about money, work or their ideals?

We see different areas of the war-torn world in their struggles for freedom, not realizing how free from this kind of warfare, we are in the western world. As one part of the globe declares peace, another area breaks out in open warfare. Civil war is declared in other countries, in an attempt for the people living there to obtain their freedom.

We see people in bondage to illnesses like SARS and HIV/AIDS and wonder if they will ever be free from diseases or if the diseases will only spread further and lock others into the same bondage. Millions of people are in bondage to other illnesses, too..

Is the concept of freedom over-rated?

There are other parts of the world that are devastated by natural disasters like hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, landslides and volcanoes. We see people living in the aftermath of these disasters or trying to flee the bondage created by nature's fury.

Even in our era, people die by the thousands in different parts of the world, because of hunger. How much they would love to be set free from the bondage of their hunger pangs.

Freedom is regarded by some as a commodity, but it is not something that we can purchase for dollars and cents, although there will be those who try to buy their freedom. Many people flee from oppression, giving up everything they own in exchange for their freedom. Often their lives are lost in that quest.

The disabled are in bondage to their disabilities and yearn for freedom from them. 

The poor are in bondage to poverty and wait for the day when they will know freedom. The rich can be in bondage to their wealth and the over bearing responsibility for it.

Tradition locks some people into bondage and allows others freedom. So does education or the lack thereof. Children can be in bondage to the teachings of their parents, their grandparents and great grandparents, even though they try to break free.

People can be in bondage to technology or the lack of technology. Many people would give anything, just to be able to have clean drinking water and the basic necessities of life.

People in many different countries are still in bondage to their forms of government. They cannot leave or cannot stay for many different reasons.

Other people are in bondage to their passions, for example, fear, hate, anger, frustration and torment. They yearn for the freedom from that kind of bondage.

The blind long to break free of blindness. The deaf want freedom from their inability to hear. The living want the freedoms of life and the dying seek the freedom realized in death.

Everyone wants freedom, but few know how to go about attaining it. Many will struggle for freedom throughout their entire lives and never achieve it.

The Bible tells us that human beings everywhere are in bondage to sin, but it offers a solution.

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." These are the words that Jesus Christ spoke. "I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly,"

Does the abundant life include freedom?

To this, a Christian would reply "Yes."

Is the concept of freedom over-rated? No. Can it be over-rated? No. 

Freedom is something everyone needs and desires. God alone gives true freedom through His divine mercy, forgiveness and love.

True Teachers Bring About Positive Change

Has the world solved the problem of barbarism yet? 

Answering this question, does not take a lot of thought. All one needs to do is to watch a news report on television, to see the atrocities taking place all around the world, on a daily basis.

The question becomes one of how the problem is going to be solved.

True teachers are an important force for positive change, both globally and locally, as education is acknowledged to be a primary factor in positive change, everywhere.

Look at the word barbarian.

The word barbarian from the Latin word barbarus, came into being in the fourteenth century. It was used in the context of a land, culture or a people, but in terms of manifesting some kind of inferiority that had to do with their level of refinement, education or learning, as well as the literary or artistic culture of the people. The barbarians would not have been considered to be savages as such, but yet they lacked the sophistication of the rest of civilization. 

It is when people are taught to live as civilized human beings, that they are able to attain a higher level of civilization.

While it is important to acknowledge the equality of all human beings, at the same time, it is also vital to recognize the reality that barbarianism running rampant is not acceptable to a civilized world. It never has been and it never will be.

There are no easy answers for the problems that have to be addressed by humankind, but the true teaching aspect of change for the better, does play an important role. Teaching can take place on many different levels. Whether it begins in a home or is initiated in a school environment, is not the major issue.

The important thing is that people are taught to love God and one another, to consider life as sacred and to live in a civilized manner.

Parents can teach that to their children or others. Even children can teach that to other children.

Addressing the issue of positive change on a local level is an ongoing task, in every part of the country, as well as all around the world. There is always the question of who should bear the responsibility for the teaching, parents or the teachers.

Ultimately, it is all of society that suffers when there is a breach of civilization. Everyone, old and young, educators or non-educators, parents and children, are all affected in a negative way. Barbarian rule violates everyone's human rights which includes the right to live and to live in peace.

It is possible to effect positive change in the lives of people locally and globally, but it does require effort, co-operation and diligence on the part of everyone. In every country of the world, this has to start on the local level. Every individual is called to accept his or her responsibility, as a true teacher for others.

True teachers are an important force for positive change both globally and locally.

The Convenience of Thinking for Yourself

It is a gift: The convenience of thinking for yourself

What a marvelous reality it is that you are able to think for yourself. If you compare how the human mind thinks metaphorically, with the flight of an eagle, you will begin to see the reality that the human mind functions in amazing ways and appreciate the convenience of being able to think for yourself.

To what height does an eagle soar,

Beyond the world and even more?

Is there one man, who's keeping score?

What mystery the mind does pour,

Though grounded on a human floor;

Sometimes it's peace, but oft it's war.

Who holds the key to wonder's door?

One apple, peeled right to the core;

A truth that some will e'er ignore

Though traces lie within folklore

Still coupled in a lion's roar;

The human book, that page, who tore?

Consider your thought process for a moment. The freedictionary.com suggests that your thought process is "the process of using your mind to consider something carefully."

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/thought+process

"This really is convenient!" you might suggest. "I actually think for myself!"

There is so much more to it than that. Certainly, you have the ability to think for yourself, but you can also think in such a way that you can comprehend the reality of man landing on the moon. You can think about the simple things in life.

"I can think things through! I can act upon my own thoughts rather than having to rely on the thoughts of someone else."

Imagine for a moment, what it would be like if you were not able to think for yourself. Someone else would have to do all of your thinking for you. That would not be any fun. In fact, it could turn into a horrific scenario. It might be inconvenient for you, as well.

Consider this simple example.

"Here is a glass of water."

What if you could not think for yourself?

Would you realize that you need to have a drink of water? Probably not. Maybe you would not even understand how to accept it from the hand of the person who offered it to you. If you did figure out how to take the glass in your hand, would you comprehend that you should drink it or actually know how to drink it?

What if you did not want a glass of water?

For example, perhaps someone else had already given you a glass of water. You don't need or want another one. Would you be able to refuse it? No, is a very important word. If you could not think for yourself, would you be able to understand the word no? Could you act on it?

People who become totally disabled can have difficulty responding to others, but many of them are still able to think for themselves and have the ability to decide whether they might want a drink of water, but not all of them, unfortunately. Those who have suffered severe trauma or have sustained head injuries, could have problems thinking for themselves. So do many elderly people whose faculties are gradually diminishing. 

Those who are dying may not be able to thinks for themselves, either.

You may not stop to think how convenient it is that you can think for yourself. You should celebrate that reality in your life and enjoy that faculty fully while you still have the ability to enjoy it. Far too often, you may tend to take it for granted.

The human mind has a wonderful capacity to function in ways that you or others don't understand completely. Many times, people unknowingly allow their mental faculties to be altered in some way, through the excessive use of alcohol or drugs. Once the damage is done, it may not be reversible.

While it is convenient to be able to think for yourself, it is important that you are aware of the reality that this ability could be stripped from you, at any time in your life. It truly is a gift, so you must always use it wisely.

Exploring the Concept of Time

Quality time versus quantity time

Exploring the concept of time, helps us understand our world and how we should live in it. There are many different ways to look at time. Comparing quality time with quantity time is one way that we can examine the concept of what we refer to as time.

Time is something that we never seem to have enough of, for some strange reason. Then, the time that we do have, has to be split between quality time and quantity time. Somehow, that does not seem fair. Does it have to be split? Maybe not!

Splitting time is like spending time.

If we view time as something like wood for the fireplace, we realize that most of the time, it is better to split wood than not to split it. When it is split, it burns better than when the pieces of wood are too large. It is also easier for a person to carry wood that has been split. Imagine for a moment how difficult it would be to build a fire, if wood could not be split. There would be no need for axes or wood splitters.

Spending time in small portions rather than in large portions, when time is regarded as a commodity like money, is better, too. It is wiser for us not to spend all of our money at once. Unfortunately, there are times when we do have to spend it all, at one time. In reality, we do have to split our money, most of the time.

Look at splitting time into quality time versus quantity time.

"Why does it matter?"

Quality time versus quantity time is an issue that frequently comes up with respect to relationships between parents and children. Parents are advised that if they cannot spend a lot of time with their children, ideally they should make the most of the time that they are able to spend with them.

"What is the difference between quality time and quantity time?" you might ask. "Is there a difference?"

Quality has to do with the essential nature of something and demands a level of excellence. Even now, we do not seem to have any effective quality control measures, when quality time refers to relationships between parents and children.

Quantity refers to an amount or how much time, rather than the degree of excellence assigned to that time. With respect to any specific quantity of time, it would refer to how much time one spends in a relationship and not the quality of the actual relationship itself.

With regard to designating actual amounts of time, it can be specified in terms of seconds, minutes, hours and days. It can be expanded further into weeks, months and years or taken further into decades, generations and centuries. We have many ways of measuring quantity of time.

Splitting quality time further, into good quality time and not-good quality time, is something that can happen, when parents are attempting to spend quality time with their children. Good quality time can turn into not-good quality time. Every parent realizes that sometimes, what he or she intended to be good quality time, turns out exactly the opposite.

Splitting quantity time is done all the time by parents. The quantity of time that parents have with their children has to be divided between a mother and a father, particularly if there is a breakdown in their own relationship. Children may have to spend time with either one parent or the other. Even in normal marital relationships, the time that children have with their parents, can be divided between the parents. One may have to go to work, while the other stays at home with the children.

We don't have perfect answers for everything in our world, including solutions to the problems that occur as a result of splitting time into quality time and quantity time or a further division of quality time, into good quality time versus not-good quality time. We only know that we have time to use as wisely as we possibly can, under whatever circumstances we have, at that particular moment in time.

Who is Virtuous?

Moral excellence, righteousness and virtue

The question, ‘who is virtuous?’ suggests that there is actually someone, who might be virtuous. In reality, all human beings are created equal and must be considered, as such.

Humankind has been created with the potential to have virtue or to demonstrate the moral excellence that constitutes virtue. In order to weigh or measure virtue, consider the use of a continuum. On one end of it, there would be perfect virtue and on the other end would be imperfect virtue.

Perfect virtue could be considered as righteousness.

Righteousness could also be placed on a continuum with positive righteousness, on one end of the continuum and negative righteousness, on the other end of the continuum. There is righteousness, that is true righteousness and there is righteousness, that is not true righteousness. It could be referred to as pseudo-righteousness.

True righteousness would have to entail some aspect of the divine, while not-true righteousness would be considered to be on a human plane. Obviously, the divinity of human beings is questionable and thus, they would have to be placed on the side of the not-true righteous. Only the divine could be on the side of the true righteous.

Even on the side of the not-true righteousness, there is the possibility of a continuum that can be used to weigh or measure the not-true righteousness.

"What is the criterion of judgment?"

How should one differentiate between the two poles on the side of the not-true righteousness? Is it to be based on words, deeds or actions? Maybe it should be based upon how much money a person has, or gives away. Probably not.

"How does one move from one side to the other?" 

In other words, can one move from the positive end of the not-true righteousness to the negative side of the not-true righteousness?

"Is it possible to move the other direction, as well?"

Or, can a person be redeemed from the negative side of the not-true righteous and move to the positive side of the not-true righteous? 

Even if that was possible, they still would not be on the side of the true righteous.

In humility, each one of us must confess the reality that at best, our words, deeds and actions, all fall far short of divine righteousness. Divine righteousness would be true virtue.

The only real conclusion that we can draw from this kind of an analysis, is the fact that no one is virtuous, apart from the divine, however one perceives the divine.

There is the possibility of attaining a degree of virtue. Virtue is a high ideal that we can strive for as human beings. It is not something that we can accomplish totally on our own. We can try to be righteous, but at best, we will all fall short of perfect virtue.

When we weigh and measure the virtue of others, we need to be aware that our measurements are based upon human perception, rather than divine perception. What we consider to be virtue might not be perceived as virtue at all, to someone else.

Judging others can place us in a position where our own virtue becomes questionable, at best.

We should strive for a high degree of moral excellence, righteousness and virtue. It is right for us to do that. 

Setting the highest ideals that we possibly can is always wise, even though we may fall short.

When we are humble enough to recognize that true virtue requires divine intervention, we know how to attain true virtue. Virtue that is not virtue at all, can appear to be virtue, until it is unmasked and the truth about virtue is revealed.

No one is virtuous until there is divine intervention. Divine intervention can be sought by those seeking virtue. 

Seek virtue and you will find it.

Love is the Ultimate Answer: Protection of Children During Times of Parental Stress

"Can you protect your children properly, when you are experiencing parental stress?"

In response to this debate question, the answer is in the affirmative. 

This is a question that every parent needs ask themselves. If you, as a parent, cannot protect your children properly, during times of parental stress, then their lives are in danger. Parental stress does not necessarily have to endanger children, but it can. 

Instinctively, most parents try to protect their children from danger, particularly during times when they are experiencing extreme stress. Depending upon the kind of stress that the parents encounter, it may or may not be possible for them to protect their children or other children, even if they  love them..

Children become exposed to things that may endanger their lives because their parents are under stress that has not, is not, or cannot be resolved appropriately. For instance, if one parent is using drugs or is a smoker, the health of their children can be placed in severe jeopardy. If a parent is a gambler and uses all of his or her income for gambling, the child's health can be endangered because of inadequate shelter, clothing or nutrition. The resolution of drug and alcohol addiction is one area of major concern with respect to child protection, as violence and child abuse can run rampant. Road rage is another instance where children's lives are placed in danger because the parents are stressed out, when driving and their parental judgment may be impaired.

Protection of the young is an important concern, in every culture of the world. It always has been and always will be. The need for child protection is not something new or different, for this era. This problem has existed from the beginning of time.

Ancient Biblical records show records of parents who were forced to live under stress, still attempting to protect their children. There is the example of the stress encountered by the mother of Moses. The need for her to protect her child is portrayed in the story of Moses. The life of Moses was placed in severe jeopardy. 

The book of Matthew recounts the severe stress, encountered by the parents of Jesus and the danger that He was placed in, as a newborn. As concerned parents, they had to protect him. God revealed to them, how they were to protect him. That is over two thousand years ago.

"What is new and different in this era?"

"Has the nature of man changed?"

There is still stress everywhere in the world today. It is not about to go away. The world will always reveal evidence of different kinds of parental stress. Does that mean that children will always be in danger because their parents are forced to live under stress, in one way or another? Unfortunately, the answer to that has to be "Yes!" The nature of man has not changed. Children everywhere, have always needed to be protected. They need protection now and will always need to be protected, in the future.

Has civilization not developed to the point, where children are automatically protected, particularly when there is stress on the parental level? In terms of civilization, it would seem that there is a long way to go, before that issue is resolved.

Parental stress is extremely high, in this era. A potential global warming and a possible global meltdown are just two reasons for current parental stress. Global warfare is always a concern. As a result, many children's lives are still being placed in danger, right now. Thousands of children need to be protected by their parents, as well as others, in every country of the world.

Unemployment, poverty, homelessness and hunger are  major concerns for parents, throughout the world. This means that the necessities of life for both parents and their children are not met, as they should be. Parents are often living under high levels of stress while attempting to provide shelter, food and clothing for their children.

Many children, far too many, are placed in situations where they are forced to fend for themselves, completely. As children, they are not allowed to be children, as they have to take over adult roles and grow up far too early. They may have to make important parental or adult decisions, long before they are able to do so.

War torn countries often fail to protect their children properly, although the parents of the children attempt to protect them. Many times, it is the mothers, sisters, grandmothers and aunts, who are left to protect them, while the fathers, brothers, grandfathers and uncles are forced into situations of open warfare. Many of the children are killed or maimed for life. Disease runs rampant, in many parts of the world.

Peace would seem to be the ideal solution with respect to parental stress, but even during times of peace, there are children, whose lives are placed in extreme jeopardy, while living in their own homes. Parents are forced to go out to work and have to leave their children unattended, for hours at a time. The children lack the necessary supervision that ensures their protection.

Proper and adequate education for parents is one major factor in child protection. Assuring proper education for parents can be one way of helping to alleviate parental stress, at least to some degree. Being taught how to protect their children from danger is extremely important for them and their children.

"Love of God and one another," is a basic Christian principle that can be instrumental in the resolution of parental stress and effective with regard to the protection of their children.

Effective legislation and the enforcement thereof, leading to child welfare and protection, is vital on a global basis. 

Does parental stress endanger children? Yes. Should it? No. Can the problem be solved? That question remains unanswered although there are effective measures that can be taken for the protection of children.

Love is the ultimate answer.

Why We Question Everything

To seek or to ask why we question everything

"Why do we question everything?" is a complex question that defies the wisest human being's ability, to come up with the perfect answer. There are many answers to this question. At best, each one of us can only respond from the direction of our personal perception. In other words, why I question everything, might be different than why you question everything.

The word quaerere means to seek or to ask. (1)

Realistically, one must ask what it is that a person seeks or asks about.

To that question, one has to respond, the all inclusive 'everything'. It suggests that there is a reason behind seeking or asking. When seeking something or asking about something, what is the ultimate goal? Perhaps in some manner, it has not yet been defined and still begs definition.

Take this one, giant step further. What one seeks or asks about is knowledge, but it would appear that knowledge about everything is unattainable. Thus, by its very nature, it seems that this is an impossible quest.

Going one step higher, beyond the human realm into the divine realm of thought, one finds that the impossible becomes the possible.

What does this mean to be those who seek and those who ask?

The Bible promises that if we seek, we shall find and if we ask, it shall be given. Matthew 7:7

This is why we question inquire in the realm of faith.

At the same time, everyone knows that if they continue to seek knowledge about something or ask questions about some something, they will find answers. Even human beings, who demonstrate absolutely no faith of any kind have that innate knowledge.

The human mind is amazing, because it does not necessarily require faith to find answers. It requires faith to find answers, on a higher plane.

Perhaps those who seek answers in the divine realm, from a faith perspective, are more likely to encounter higher truths. Those who deny faith may not be able to uncover those truths. There is truth on the human level, as well as higher truth, on the divine level.

Perhaps the person lacking faith can seek and find truth up to a degree, but when it is higher truth, it enters into the realm of revelation, as opposed to mere knowledge on a human plane of existence.

So, as human beings, we can seek and know that we will find. We also know that we can ask and know that we can receive, even on a purely, human plane.

We seek and find, ask and receive, simply because we can.

Mankind is only as limited as his individual and collective, human perception. If he makes an active choice to seek and find, ask and receive on a human plane, knowledge on that plane is what he is limited to in terms of actual discovery.

If he makes an active decision to seek and find truth on a divine plane, it will result in an encounter with the divine. Asking and expecting to receive on a divine plane of existence, opens that realm

We ask questions and rightly so. We should be asking questions. The real question is whether or not we are asking the right questions about everything.

One must ask if there is a relationship between knowledge and understanding of God or the divine.

There are different levels of knowledge can be accessed, like the stairs on a stairway. The bottom of the stairway of knowledge would be accessed by those who are not aware of any concept of God or the divine. The next step could be accessed by those who take an atheistic stand and deny God. The agnostics might be able to access knowledge that is one step higher, by allowing the possibility that God may exist.

A higher step of knowledge might be accessible to those who believe in the existence of God. The next step of knowledge would be for those who believe in Jesus, as His Son. The top step or the highest knowledge would be accessed by those, who are aware of and acknowledge the work of God's Holy Spirit.

All knowledge comes from God, but why would God want to give knowledge to someone who denies Him, His Son and His Holy Spirit? Perhaps God gives a degree of base knowledge to everyone. As they learn to relate to Him, He increases their degree of awareness and knowledge. The highest knowledge would be given to those who God knows will handle it rightly.

Why we question everything, reverts back to how God has created us, with the ability to seek and find knowledge.

(1) Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, Merriam Webster Inc., Springfield, Mass., 1983

Testimonies: Jobs You'd Love to Have

The art of effective counseling: Effective counseling is an art that may lead to the kind of job you'd love to have. 

Counseling directives for beginners are essential, but they may appear idealistic, rather than realistic. It is not possible for one person to counsel every person, who is in need of counseling, but if you are able to help even one, then your counseling efforts will not have been in vain.

If you wish to be a counselor, it is important to look seriously at what you are attempting to do and why you want to do it. It is never a good idea to insist on counseling someone who does not want to be counseled or refuses counseling. It is normally not a good idea to attempt to counsel family members, either.

Counseling is the most effective, when the counseling is requested by the person who needs help, in the form of counseling from a counselor.

Here are guidelines for people who want to counsel others and are seeking training or education, as professional counselors.

The counselor and counselee relationship:

The counseling profession is a helping relationship. The counselor takes on the role of a helper. He or she tries to help one or more people, by providing counseling with respect to problems, issues or concerns. The counselee is the person helped by the counselor or whoever is being counseled.

Different kinds of counseling:

There are many different kinds of counseling. For instance, one-to-one counseling is different from group counseling. In one-to-one counseling, one counselor works with one person, on a one-to-one basis. In group counseling, one counselor works with a group of people. Sometimes, there may be more than one counselor, who works with a group of counselees. For example, in one-to-one counseling, a counselor might work with one teenager. Group counseling could involve one or several counselors, working together with a group of teenagers.

More specific kinds of counseling.

Legal counseling involves a lawyer or a paralegal, who works with people having legal problems.

Family counseling involves a counselor working with a family member, family members or an entire family, with regard to areas of concern to them.

Marital counseling focuses on a counselor working with a married person or a couple, on their marital problems.

Pre-marital counselors work with an individual or two people, who plan on getting married, at some time in the future.

Divorce counselors work with an individual or a couple, who may be contemplating a divorce.

Financial counseling has to do with helping a person or a group of people to resolve financial or money concerns.

A debt counselor will counsel those who are in a debt crisis, towards effective resolution of their debts.

In credit card counseling, a counselor works with a person or a family, to resolve credit card issues.

Addiction counseling involves a counselor working with a person or family, where there are issues of concern with regard to alcohol, drugs and gambling addiction.

Smoking addiction counselors work with people, who desire to stop smoking.

Career counselors work with those who are seeking advice re prospective careers.

Academic counselors help those who are looking for academic directives.

A teen counselor would work specifically with teenagers in order to resolve their problems.

A child and family counselor works with parents and children, to resolve childcare issues or concerns.

A grief counselor will counsel or help those who are going through different stages of bereavement.

Counseling as such, may be informal or formal. 

Informal counseling:

Many people do informal counseling in one way or another, with others or many others, on a regular basis. For example, a father may counsel his son and his son's friends about teen drug abuse. A mother may counsel her daughter and others about teen pregnancy issues.

While the parents may not have formal training as counselors, they can help their children and others. At times, they can be highly effective as counselors, depending upon how well they relate to and interact with their counselees, as well as the response that they get from the counselee, in return for their efforts.

Often the older children in a family are able to counsel the younger children informally, because counseling is a lot like teaching. Many of the informal helping or counseling skills are much the same.

Formal counseling:

"Is formal training in counseling necessary, in order for someone to become a counselor?"

While it is not essential to have formal training to counsel someone else, it is advisable, particularly if a person's expectation is that of being  hired, as a professional counselor. A highly effective counselor will have learned counseling skills and have more advanced training in counseling. For example, a minister, doctor or a lawyer will have learned professional counseling skills. Other professions like teaching and nursing include training in professional counseling skills.

Different kinds of counseling require different kinds of formal training. For instance, a family counselor may need to know different things than a financial counselor, in order to be effective in counseling. Often, many of the areas of counseling are inter-related.

Effective counseling might require both family counseling skills and financial counseling expertise or a teen counselor might need to have child counseling skills.

Counseling courses:

Many universities and colleges offer specialized or general counseling courses of different kinds, for those who are seeking to become professional counselors. Begin by taking general counseling courses, first. This will help you to decide if counseling is the right occupation for you.

If you decide counseling is the direction that you are going to pursue, make serious inquiries about counseling courses available at your local university or college. Consider all of your options. Remember to use your pre-existing training or skills to help you to make a wise career decision.

Consider all of the other possibilities too, with respect to obtaining more advanced formal education and training, in another profession that teaches you how to be an effective counselor. You may decide to choose a profession that includes counseling skills or seek training in counseling itself. Either way, you will learn how to be a helper.

Effective counseling involves learning the art of counseling first. This may turn out to be a job you would love to have. 

Tips for Counseling Adult Learners

Counseling adult learners can be very rewarding

Counseling an adult learner is not always easy, but it can be very rewarding. No counselor knows exactly what to expect from a counselee and an adult learner often comes out of a complex scenario. He or she may come to counseling sessions feeling extremely unhappy, depressed or experiencing fear.

"I am terrified!"

An adult learner may also present himself or herself with an aggressive, angry, know-it-all attitude that can be extremely intimidating to any counselor.

"You are not going to tell me what to do!"

Ideally, the immediate reaction by a counselor to an adult learner should be one that is positive and constructive.

"I am honored to have you come to me for counseling. How can I help you?"

The opposite can occur also. The counselor may react with fear and trepidation. Professional counselors may not enjoy counseling adult learners, if they may feel threatened by them, in one way or another.

"That person is always so intimidating. I know every single session is going to be extremely difficult."

Remember that the adult learner places himself or herself in a more humble position, than a younger person. Having to ask for help as an adult learner, is never easy. It can be a humiliating experience, particularly for someone who has been happily married and highly successful in his or her life, career or business.

Here are some tips for counseling adult learners.

Welcome the adult learner warmly.

As a counselor, it is the counselee who is coming to you for help. You are the professional, trained and skilled helper, who is in an excellent position to help him or her. He or she may not be aware of that fact. 

You know that you cannot make the decisions for the counselee. The counselee may not realize that. What you can do is to offer suggestions or discuss possible options or other alternatives. The counselee is ultimately the one who has to make all of the decisions about his or her life.

Treat the adult learner with love, respect and integrity.

As a counselor, how you treat the counselee initially, may set the mood for all future counseling sessions. Regardless of the counselee's race, creed, color, age, ability or past history, the initial encounter with the counselee, as well as all future counseling sessions with the counselee, should be ones in which there is a attitude of respect from the counselor. Treating him or her properly, gains the respect of the counselee.

Discuss the immediate, short term and long term expectations of the adult learner.

Find out why the counselee has come to you for counseling and what his or her expectations are, for the future. Do not make any immediate assumptions. Until you have spent time talking with the counselee, you may not know why he or she has come to you, as a counselor. Be an active listener. Watch for the hand-on-the-door syndrome, where the counselee finally discloses the reason for his or her visit, as he or she is leaving.

Discuss your immediate, short and long term expectations with the adult learner.

Make certain that your counselee knows that you have expectations of him or her. Be realistic with your expectations and take into consideration any extenuating circumstances. Keep your relationship with the counselee on a professional level, at all times.

Expect the adult learner to bring some old baggage to counseling sessions.

An adult learner may bring many unrelated experiences, events, issues, problems and concerns to counseling sessions. Encourage the counselee to focus on what pertains to the reason why he or she has come to see you. Allow the adult learner to share his or her past life experiences or problems, if they are pertinent. Seek effective resolution for them or re-direct the counselee to someone else who can assist him or her. For example, if they are financial issues, unrelated to why you are seeing the counselee, suggest a credit card or debt counselor.

Discuss his or her background education, training, skills and employment experience, in relation to the current issue. Recognize the reality that you may be able to draw from these in order to counsel him or her effectively.

Encourage the active learner to participate in active role playing.

Active role playing can help the adult learner to refocus on issues, but from a different perspective. For example, if the problem is a family issue of concern, role playing with the counselee, from the perspective of another family member, may help the counselee to resolve the issue.

Introduce new methods of communication, education and training.

Acknowledge the merit and value of previous kinds of education, skills or training that the adult learner has had, but encourage the counselee to explore current modes of communication, education and training. For example, engage the counselee in active research about his or her problem, on the Internet.

Encourage the adult learner to interact and relate to others.

Many times, peer counseling can be an effective method of problem resolution. While a young counselor may not be able to relate to certain issues pertaining to adult learners, his or her peers may be in position to relate better and share these concerns realistically. Involving others will help the adult learner to focus on the resolution of those kinds of problems.

Set appropriate goals, including time frames, with the adult learner.

Encourage the adult learner to set his or her appropriate goals with your guidance. Have him or her present the goals in writing. Discuss the goals with the counselee. Ascertain whether they are realistic, in terms of the proposed time frames. Together, adjust them so that they are suitable.

Schedule follow up counseling sessions, as needed.

Several counseling session with an adult learner, may be more appropriate than one, lengthy counseling session. There will likely be more than one issue that needs to be resolved. Deal with one issue per counseling session, if possible.

Recognize when a counseling session should be ended.

If you see a counseling session has achieved what you expected, anticipated or hoped it would achieve, bring the session to a close. If your relationship with the counselee is deteriorating, do not continue with that counseling session. Advise the counselee to think about what you have discussed and book a counseling session for another time. Remember that many counselees want immediate answers, long before they have worked out their problems.

Do not allow any kind of abuse in a counseling session.

Here is a word of caution with respect to counseling adult learners. Counselees may go to counseling sessions and become abusive. They may blame the counselor for their problems or their failure to resolve their issues and concerns. Make certain that you counselee knows that you are not available for abuse and do not tolerate it, at any time. Advise the abusive counselee that it will result in termination of all counseling sessions. Do not put yourself in jeopardy. Advise him or her to seek counseling elsewhere, if necessary.

In conclusion, one must suggest that the effectiveness of counseling adult learners depends upon the immediate establishment of an appropriate relationship between the counselor and the counselee, as well as the continuation thereof, throughout the counseling sessions.

Counseling adult learners is an art that is learned, partly through experience. It can be rewarding for the counselor and counselee.