How to Handle Teen Rebellion: The Teen Rebel

Learning how to handle teen rebellion often presents a challenge for parents, teachers and others, all around the globe. Teen rebels are never easy to deal with at any time.

“I don’t want to live here!” yells a teenage girl. “I am eighteen and can do what I want.”

“Not quite,” states her father. “As long as you live under our roof, you will follow the rules in our home.”

“Then I am moving out!”

The teen slams the door as she leaves and decides never to return. Later, confronted with the reality of living on her own she changes her mind, but now she finds that returning home is not a viable option. The door is closed.

Handling a potentially, rebellious situation often leaves parents wondering what they did wrong. At times, it is necessary to take action.

In reality, teen rebellion may simply be a new phase of adjustment in that teen’s life. At some time or another, every teen asserts his or her will, as he or she seeks independence.

How can one handle teen rebellion?

Let us look at some specific, teen rebellion scenarios.

Refusal of obedience:

Refusal of obedience to parents, teachers or others, immediately indicates a state of rebellion. Children can be rebellious too, but under most circumstances they will submit to parents, teachers and others in authority. While not all teens submit to authority, some will always do so out of respect for themselves, their parents, teachers and others.

Consider this example.

“Son, you have to do your chores first!” a mother tells her thirteen-year old son, who is heading down the street on his bicycle.

“Dad can cut the grass!” hollers the teen. “I am going to the beach.”

“Your father will talk to you later about your chores, as well as your allowance.”

Suddenly, she has his attention.

Most teens know the importance of obedience, but many appear to forget its significance and need a verbal reminder, at times. Other siblings may follow the example of rebels. A stern talking to and withholding of privileges may help with teen obedience issues.

Breaking of rules:

A home or school environment can be turned into chaos immediately, if teens decide that rules are made to be broken.

For example, a sixteen-year old, who has always been an excellent student, decides he can come to class whenever he pleases, much to the dismay of his teachers.

“I will be here when I feel like it!” he argues. “You cannot stop me.”

“Then you will be placed under suspension, immediately,” the principal of his high school advises him and follows through with it. "If you decide to obey our rules, bring your parents in to talk to me." 

If everyone breaks rules, there is no order.

Enforcing discipline is necessary to prevent or dispel chaos, as well as to maintain order in our world, whether there are teens rebelling or not. In a civilized environment, order has to prevail and thus, there must be rules. These rules have to be enforced. Fortunately, this young man still has an open door, probably because he has been an excellent student in the past.

Destruction:

Rebellion may quickly turn to destruction. 

Consider this example.

A fourteen-year old girl does not like the curfew that her single mother has imposed upon her. She has older friends age fifteen and sixteen, who do not have curfews. She decides to destroy things (with the expectation that her mother will see that she cannot win and lift the curfew). She starts to smoke when her mother leaves the house and burns holes in curtains, rugs and blankets. When confronted she denies everything even when her mother finds the damage, as well as cigarette butts and ashes in her room. Her mother forbids her to have any of her friends visit. She does not lift the curfew. In time, the teen sees the error of her ways.

Many teens with curfews imposed upon them, particularly those influenced in a negative manner by their peers, have rebellious attitudes. Prohibiting their friends from visiting them becomes a form of discipline, which may help to solve the problem. Stricter measures may be necessary to prevent the teen from doing further damage. She should receive instruction regarding fire safety, as well. Time is often a factor that resolves many teen rebel issues.

Alcohol, nicotine and drugs:

Alcohol, nicotine and drugs, anxiety and stress relievers that teens may turn to, especially when reprimanded for doing something wrong, may lead to further problems like addiction. There is also peer pressure to conform, a reality with which teens have to contend.

Consider this example.

A fifteen-year old boy is in trouble and charged with break and entry. He is on probation and the family court orders him to move in with another family member. His parents are elderly and unable to control his actions or behavior. The other family member soon finds cigarettes and marijuana in his suitcase, a bottle of whisky under his bed and tranquilizers in his shirt pocket. With discipline, patience and unconditional love, this young man converts to Christianity, receives addiction counseling and changes his life style.

Many things that teens do are acts of desperation, simply because they are in a state of rebellion against authority. At times, they do not know what else they could or should do. They may not know who to confide in or talk to about their problems. Turning to the wrong people, they may wind up in serious trouble. Law enforcement may be necessary.

These are different ways of dealing with teen rebellion. What works for one teen may not necessarily work for another. Good parenting and education with proper guidance from psychologists and counselors, usually proves beneficial.