Tips for Avoiding Divorce: Married for Life

The 2-4-7 itch

Parents often stand by as helpless outsiders, while their children are experiencing marital problems, after only a few years of marriage.

“What happened to married for life?”

"Well, their marriage started off that way; then our children went in opposite directions. What will happen to our grandchildren? We tried to help but..."

"Couples watching out for the seven-year itch should be on their guard ..........they are far more likely to separate after about two years of marriage. One in 12 couples is heading for the divorce courts after 24 months." (1)

Divorceinfo.com offers divorce statistics, suggesting that "the four year itch" is a likely time for couples to begin to lose interest in their marriages. (2)

"One million children in America are involved in a new divorce annually, as of 1997, according to divorcemagazine.com." (3)

For anyone contemplating divorce, are you fighting in a positive, constructive way for your marriage? Marital counseling is an option; but divorce is not.

Here are steps couples can take, when times are tough.

Keep the peace

Marriages break up when there is no peace at home, because two people cannot live together. Maybe they do not know how to end the fighting. If both agree to keep the peace, the fighting ends.

Keep the door open

One spouse leaves the marital home; the other has the option of leaving the door open for him or her to return. Closing the door may end the marriage. Leaving the door open allows cooling down time and the possibility of renewing the marital commitment.

Rest and relaxation

Working spouses are often exhausted. Coming home, all they want is rest and relaxation. When they cannot find it at home, they may look elsewhere for it. Making your home the place for rest and relaxation, works. Fun and play is important too, as even the oldest spouses are children at heart.

Quality time

Quality time together is essential, but children or other family members often take priority. Structured quality time for couples may not the ideal; sometimes it works. Setting aside ‘our time’ lets couples get back in touch with each other.

Establishing priorities

What is most important to a couple in their marriage will take precedence. Setting priorities properly is important.

Marriage counseling

Marriage counseling is a viable option. Counselors have unique strategies couples are not aware of when they attend counseling.

Married children or married adults?

When couples undertake marriage, it is normally marriage as adults, but in marital breakdowns, spouses may revert to childlike words or behavior. Marriage as adults, places it back in its proper perspective.

Professional educator dialogue versus spoiled-child warfare

Communication takes place on many levels. When spouses participate in active communication with marriage counselors listening in, the level of communication can be determined. Communication breakdown signifies trouble, but improving communication skills can save a marriage.

Peacemakers or warmongers

War and peace are part of the basic nature of all human beings. In marriages, one spouse may be the peacemaker, at all times and the other, the warmonger. Is it always one person who makes all the concessions? Who makes peace? Ideally, it should be both spouses.

Love or hate...a fine line

There is a fine line between love and hate. It takes one word, a smile or act of kindness to cross that line and head in the right direction. The choice of words, deeds or action is yours.

Circadian rhythm

Circadian rhythm involves sleep disorders. Spouses have different sleep needs. Inquiring into and examining individual sleep patterns can help couples adjust their life styles accordingly.

Marriage is forever.....permanent, peaceful...who is breaking the pact and why?

Couples enter into marriage with high expectations that are not easily met. There is always the unexpected to deal with. Considering other partners is not an option; nor is it necessarily better. Many of the same issues and concerns from a first marriage recur in a second relationship. Resolving those issues can prevent what could be a wonderful marriage from falling apart.

As a married couple, try peeking into your marital relationship, purely as an unbiased outsider. Are you impressed? Would anyone else be?

Your parents held high expectations for you, as their married children. Was that not supposed to be as adults?

For free marriage counseling, visit http://www.marriagemax.com/l.asp.

1..http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html

2. http://www.divorceinfo.com/statistics.htm

3. http://www.divorcereform.org/chilrate.html

How Christians Should Deal With Bullying: Is There a Difference Between Being a Bully and Being Proactive?

How Christians should deal with bullying depends to some degree upon their basic understanding of the principles and practices of true Christianity. At the same time, one might ask if there is a difference between being a bully and being proactive?

Being proactive against bullying may be perceived by others as being a bully, even when it is based upon an interpretation of Christian principles.

What is a bully?

A bully is someone who is unreasonably aggressive and abusive toward others. He or she may oppress or hurt those who are not willing or able to protect or defend themselves.

Bullying is recognized as an inappropriate form of social control and deemed as a negative and destructive behavior. Thus, more and more people are taking a proactive stand against bullies and bullying, acknowledging the reality that bullying of others, at any time, in any place or for any reason, is wrong. It is being frowned upon more and more by people everywhere, as it is deemed to be unacceptable, regardless of how, why, when or where it takes place in society.

The incidence of bullying, even in Christian circles remains relatively high, with many cases of bullying still going unreported to authorities. It is a phenomenon that continues to happen in homes, schools, recreation centers and on the street. Much of the bullying goes unnoticed. Many times, those who are afraid of being oppressed will attempt to ignore or to suppress what is happening.

Anywhere there are people there may be strong, abusive and overly aggressive people, who prey on others, particularly the younger, weaker and smaller in stature, as a way to achieve personal gain. It may also be a power play or some form of mind control.

Bullying continues to affect the lives of hundred of children and teens of all ages, in an adverse manner. It also happens among adults and occurs in every nation of the world. The disabled, handicapped, injured or mentally challenged are bullied by others, because they are vulnerable.

Seniors are not exempt being bullied by others or even from bullying others.

Those who speak out against bullying or other kinds of negative behavior or unacceptable lifestyles, are proactive. They are likely to be true Christians, while those who do the bullying may not be Christians, other than in name only. Proactive people will take positive, constructive action in many different ways or areas of life that lead to changes for the better in the lives of human beings, everywhere. They often speak out against bullies and the practice of bullying others.

Proactive people are on the way up, while bullies are on their way out the door, even in Christian circles. Proactive people will continue to speak out against bullying and other worthy causes because they love and respect people.

Is there a difference between being a bully and being proactive?

Yes, there is a difference and that difference is in terms of the love of God and one another. Love is the difference.       

Teen Views: Struggle for Identity

Identity discovery mode confuses teenagers

Teenagers seeking their own pathways in life may not necessarily be as confused, as some adults seem to portray them. Teenagers who adults suggest are confused may be trying to discover and assert their own identities.

Identity is an important issue for teenagers, as each one needs to take a strong stand with respect to who he or she is in relation to others including his or her parents, other family members and friends. After all, it is not long until the teenagers in question will become adults, who have the identities of adults.

It is not going to be an easy transition for either the parents or the teenagers.

Parents can have extremely high expectations of their teenagers and may become extremely demanding of them. For example, a parent may expect only adult level, mature behavior from a young teenager. The severe demands of the parents may confuse a teenager, who may protest by stating, “But I am still a teenager.”

This does not mean that the teenager is confused, but merely that he or she is in his or her normal, identity role stage for that particular age group. He or she associates his or her identity with his or her own, unique, peer group.

At times, the activities or behaviors of some teenagers may be entirely different from the parent’s expectations of them.

“When we were your age, this is what was expected of us,” parents may state. That may be the reality of their teenage years.

“But this is a different age,” the teenager, who is perceived as not living up to the parents expectations of him or her, may argue. In this case, he or she is probably right.  

Some parents who do not understand teenagers or what is happening with them in their era, may regard the teenagers or all teenagers as being confused. The teenagers in question may not be confused at all. They are merely teenagers in discovery mode trying to find their individual identities.

In order to resolve this kind of a scenario, it is important for parents to be in touch with teenagers or perhaps more teenagers.

This is possible in many different ways.

Parents who participate in group activities where there are other parents and teenagers tend to be more understanding, as they are in constant contact with teenagers, on their level. They understand many teenagers’ lifestyles, as well as their way of thinking and expressing themselves.

Parents, who teach teenagers on a regular basis, tend to be more lenient towards them, as they see teenagers within the context of their day-to-day lives. Like an adult, each teenager is a unique and special person.

Any parents who invite teenagers into their homes regularly, along with other family members, soon get to see how teenagers function in their own families. They may be shocked and not always approve of what is happening in respect to inter-personal relationships, but they may understand why those particular teenagers appear to be confused.

Role confusion during the teen years has a lot to do with the ego and each one’s perception of the self. Many teenagers tend follow the examples set by their parents. These may not always be good examples; they may not be easy examples to follow, either.

Recognizing that a teenager is identifying himself or herself, with a parent who is not setting a good example, leaves the doorway open for setting a better example.

Teenagers need to know that they can assert their individual identities wherever they are, without subjection to relentless criticism and severe judgment by others. They are not ever going to be exact, carbon copies of their parents. In fact, it would impossible to become a perfect carbon copy of them in terms of identity.

Each teenager is a unique individual, pursuing his or her own individual pathway of identity discovery.

Parents may need professional counseling along with their teenagers in order to understand why their teenagers appear to be confused. The teenagers may not be confused at all. A psychologist, school guidance counselor, teacher or medical professional may be able to help parents and teenagers engaged in conflict.

Are teenagers confused? No, that is not necessarily the case, even though it may appear that way, at times.

Are the parents confused? That is not necessarily true either.

Identifying inappropriate activities and behaviors may prove to be one of the keys to resolution, but severe reprimands are not always the answer, as the teenagers may simply rebel. Spending time talking, playing or working with teenagers can be beneficial to both parents and teenagers. Many issues can be resolved in different, positive and constructive ways, although it is not necessarily easy for either of them.

Love of parents for their teenagers and teenagers for their parents, allows room for tolerance and growth of personal identity. Be aware that effective resolution may take time and a lot of patience might be required on both sides.

Are We Losing Christ in Christmas? How to Have an Orderly Christmas

Are we losing the Christ in Christmas? Some say that this is happening and chaos reigns during the holiday season because of it.  

Christmas, by nature of being a global celebration, may be or become chaotic for many people around the world. One might argue that this does have something to do with losing the Christ in Christmas.

How one can have an orderly Christmas, instead of one that is chaotic is a question that arises frequently. For many, there are too many things to do and too much is happening all within a short period. It would appear that it is almost impossible to have an orderly Christmas and yet, there is still hope, as this is possible.

"How?" one might ask, sensing the impossibility of such an overwhelming task.

Chaos seems to be the norm of Christmas for many, but note that this is a norm based on numbers, not on God's Law which ultimately leads us to the true meaning of Christmas.

People who have not undergone a conversion experience of some kind may  want to celebrate Christmas, but tend to refer to this time of year as the holiday season, taking Christ out of the word Christmas.

They may not be aware of the significance of the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ and thus, the true meaning of Christmas. 

When we become aware of the significance and meaning of this reality, then we begin to realize there is a divine order for everything. God's orderly, master plan for humankind is based upon "the love of God and one another".

This unique plan has an indisputable, divine order; in other words, it is not chaotic in nature. This means that God is first in all things; secondly, comes man and wife with their children and thirdly, others. Does that sound too simplified?

Unfortunately, the divine order, ordered or orderly plan for man is ignored or departed from by many people, even those who may call themselves Christian in name. This happens at Christmas and chaos is the direct result.

Putting Christ back into Christmas allows man to be right with God once again. This restores order or orderliness to what otherwise might be chaos or chaotic in nature.

Appropriate worship of God must take precedence in an orderly Christmas. What concerns husbands, wives and children is next. The third concern is others.

Introducing and maintaining that kind of a divine order with regard to Christmas may mean making significant changes with respect to how Christmas is celebrated, but what should take priority, will.

Traditions are not easy to change. Transitions of any kind meet with a lot of resistance, but the bottom line is re-establishing one's priorities, based upon God's perfect plan for humankind. This eliminates the chaos of Christmas and turns it into an orderly celebration, as God's ways are not chaotic. They are orderly or ordered by His divine Law of love.

Do you want to take the chaos out of your Christmas? Put Christ back into Christmas and restore order. Teach others to perceive Christmas within the context of God's love for humankind. This is the way to keep life in its proper perspective.

Have an orderly and Merry Christmas and a happier, holiday season.     

Figuring Out One's Personal Identity: How to Avoid an Identity Crisis

Trying to figure out one's identity may result in an identity crisis. In this article, the question of how to avoid an identity crisis focuses on adolescents, as adolescence is the time in life when a person is the most vulnerable to the influence of others and to the environment, in which he or she lives. But, an identity crisis can occur with anyone, anywhere and at any time.

What happens to an adolescent is reflected in his or her later life.     

An extremely high level of expectation placed upon an adolescent can lead into identity confusion or result in an identity crisis, during his or her teenage years or later on in life. Not being able to fulfill the expectations of others, including parents, grandparents and teachers can cause a person to begin to wonder who he or she really is.

A person in the midst of an identity crisis can be in a state of extreme personal turmoil, known to family and friends. Suddenly, the problem surfaces and often in the way that is least expected.

Avoiding a potential identity crisis in any family is important, as sometimes, when the problem does surface, it is in a way that cannot be effectively resolved. It may be too late.     

Interpersonal and family relationships are an important part of one's identity, regardless of the person's age. 

Every person is unique and that uniqueness should be respected. Effective communication between individuals, particularly with parents, other adults, teens and adolescents can prevent personal identity problems that might surface otherwise.

Always remember that love is the healing factor, in any kind of an identity crisis.

Is an identity crisis always avoidable? Probably not.

At the same time, each one of us should be aware that there are times, when a potential identity crisis can be avoided, during the time when an adolescent or teenager is trying to figure out his or her identity. This includes the period when early symptoms are recognized and adolescents, young or old, receive the appropriate treatment.     

If you are the one who is trying to figure out your identity and it is becoming more and more confusing, do not hesitate to seek professional guidance from a psychologist, other medical professional, teacher or counselor. Your parents may be able to advise you in a way that will be of help to you.

It may take a bit of time to discover who you really are, but you will. Enjoy your pathway of discovery.       

Recognizing Warning Signs and Preventing Suicide: Symptoms of an Identity Crisis

Many parents are familiar with this statement, made by adolescents. "I don't know who I am!"

Recognizing warning signs and preventing suicide is important with respect to any adolescent, heading into an identity crisis. He or she may not know who he or she is any longer. There are also other symptoms indicating a pending identity crisis in an adolescent. These are first person statements that focus on me, myself and I.

In an identity crisis, there may be a sense of loss with regard to belonging to groups or in terms of being part of one's own family. The confused, distraught adolescent may state emphatically, "I don't fit in here. In fact, I don't even know where I belong anymore!"

At this time, the adolescent may not know where he or she is going in the future either, as there is no definite sense of direction. He or she has no firmly established goals. "I don't know where I am going in life!" the adolescent may cry out, but it may be only an inward cry that no one hears. It is a cry for help.

Be alert to the reality that any adolescent may be entering into or going through an identity crisis. He or she is struggling inwardly, in order to find him or herself. He or she needs to have a sense of self-identity and wants to know what his or her true identity is.

The adolescent's ego is fragile, at this time and he or she is vulnerable to suggestions from others. The adolescent is seeking direction, but unfortunately, it is not always positive, constructive direction, that he or she finds.  

Being aware that an adolescent might be heading into a full blown identity crisis that may lead to suicide is important.

"I don't know what to do," is a statement made by an adolescent who is seeking guidance.

Parents may perceive an early change in their adolescent. A parent who is  exasperated with a son or daughter becoming a teenager may say, "Who are you?" or "I don't know you any more." He or she may not recognize the reality that the adolescent is in a pending identity crisis situation.

As a parent, teacher or counselor, even as a friend, you can be instrumental in helping to avoid or avert a pending identity crisis and suicide in someone who you know and love, by being supportive of him or her.  Remember that patience, kindness and love will help an adolescent to identify him or herself.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identity_crisis_(psychology)

Anger: Causes and Management

Understanding socially acceptable, anger management

There are many different reasons why people become angry. In other words, the causes are innumerable.

Understanding socially acceptable, expressions of anger, as well as anger management principles, is important to us as human beings, because we are all part of one global community. Proper anger expression and anger management is vital to everyone's spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health.  

What is socially acceptable anger management, as opposed to non-socially acceptable, anger management? 

Anger is a normal human response to someone or something that is displeasing. It has varying degrees of severity, depending upon the situation or circumstances involved.

Place human anger and the management thereof, on a continuum from one to ten. Put appropriate or socially acceptable, responses to anger on the lower end of the continuum and the non-socially acceptable, responses to anger on the higher end of the continuum.

Now look at two different kinds of anger management or responses to anger. In each instance, how does a person express or deal with his or her anger?

Anger management that consists of counting from one to ten before speaking, when one was angry might be rated as a one out of ten. Breaking a table leg when one was angry, could be regarded as a ten out of ten.

Analyzing our own personal responses to anger is important. It is even more important than trying to analyze those of others. Why is this so? Normally, we only comprehend our own internal, anger levels or degrees of anger. There may be times when we do not understand it, as well. We may not necessarily comprehend the internal level or degree of anger of others.

We know when we are angry, even if we do not know why we are angry immediately. We may not ever know, comprehend or recognize the symptoms of anger in others or understand the reason why they are angry. We also know how angry we are at any particular time, but we do not always know how angry others may be.

In other words, we know when we are just a little angry about something and we know when we are very angry. We do not always know that with regard to others who are around us or those who may be at some distance from us. 

Be aware that expressions of anger and socially acceptable, anger management practices can vary from individual to individual, family to family, as well as from community to community. They also vary from culture to culture. In other words, what may be considered socially acceptable, expressions of anger and anger management in one family, community or culture, may not necessarily be regarded the same way, in another.

Thus, what might pass as socially acceptable, expressions of anger and anger management principles and practices in one country, may not be regarded as such, in other countries of the world.

Can we make others follow our example for socially acceptable expressions of anger and anger management? Probably not, but we can start by setting a good example for others. 

Death and Dignity, a Basic Human Right

Every person has the right to die with dignity. It is a basic human right. Unfortunately, it is not always possible, as death often comes suddenly and without any warning. Death is inevitable for everyone, a reality with which each person is confronted, at one time or another. 

When a person is aware that he or she is dying, it may be possible to make plans with respect to his or her pending death, in order to ensure that his or her dignity is maintained. That is not always possible, depending upon the person's individual circumstances. Sometimes, others have to assume that responsibility.

Taking a stand that argues that life is sacred, whether it is one's own life or that of someone else, allows each person a sense of human dignity, but because not everyone regards life as being sacred, how people die may prove to be a less than an ideal scenario.

Prolonging the life of a dying person who they love, is something that family members and close friends often strive towards, but even that is not always possible.

Medical professionals seek to prolong the lives of their patients, because their medical orientation is towards life and not death.

At times, how the life of a patient is prolonged, may be questioned or perceived by others, as being a human indignity. In reality, any medical measures that are taken in order to prolong a patient's life are likely to be the same as those that would be taken in any similar, medical scenario.

One's religious belief system or personal philosophy of life has a lot to do with how one perceives the pending death of oneself or another.

The highest ideal of maintaining human dignity is not always achieved with respect to someone who is dying. Sometimes, there is not enough time to carry out what would be regarded as treating a person who is dying with dignity. Even the dying person's wishes cannot always be carried out.   

But, does each person have the right to be treated with dignity, both in life and in death? To that, one must invariably respond in the affirmative. Again, one must argue that this is a basic human right. 

Christians take the stand that we are all created by God and in the image of God. He loves us and thus, we are taught to love Him and one another. It is God who gives life and He who takes life.

Love always responds to death with dignity. That is an indisputable fact.

How to Avoid Sexual Harassment on the Internet: Sexual Harassment as a Global Concern

Sexual harassment on the Internet is a growing concern for people, all around the globe. This is particularly true with regard to the younger generation, who may not be aware of the extent and the nature of sexual harassment or of their own vulnerability to sexual predators.

In reality, everyone is a potential target for sexual predators. Young people and others, who are relatively unfamiliar with the Internet, can become victims of potential sexual predators, very quickly. Women, young and old, are particularly vulnerable.   

There are a number of things that everyone can do to avoid sexual harassment on the Internet.

Be aware that sexual harassment on the Internet is a serious offence. It may be a criminal offense, depending upon its extent. Do not ever participate in this kind of activity, as it is a form of sexual abuse.

Always be cautious about the web sites you become actively involved with, as not every web site is appropriate. There are numerous web sites, not age appropriate for either young people or children. Block inappropriate web sites and avoid pornography web sites, in particular.   

Do not open pop-ups on the Internet. Delete them immediately, particularly if they appear to be sexually suggestive, aggressive or abusive, in any way.

Post only basic or essential information on social interaction web sites, rather than your personal information. 

Do not post your address, telephone number or e-mail address, as you do not want to have a potential, sexual predator contacting you. Avoid revealing personal information on questionnaires and surveys.  

Post only appropriate photographs of yourself, as sexual predators may be enticed or drawn to inappropriate photographs of you and others.

Write only that which is appropriate on the web site you are using as a blog or for social interaction. Learn and practice social etiquette skills for the Internet.

Never respond to inappropriate, sexual messages of any kind. Be aware that you do not have to respond to everything posted on a social Interaction web site. Choose the messages you do respond to on a social interaction website, carefully. If someone is using sexually abusive or inappropriate language, block contact with that person, immediately.

Report anything that may be sexually suggestive, abusive or aggressive to your parents, a responsible adult or your teacher. They may report it to the authorities or inquire into appropriate security for your web site.

Avoid posting information about your whereabouts on any particular day or time. Do not post that kind of information about your children either, as their safety is important.  

Sexual predators may think sexual harassment is fun and will do it for their own entertainment or for that of others. Refuse to engage in this kind of negative and destructive entertainment, either as a victim or as an active participant. Be aware that they may be inebriated or on drugs.

Notify the police, if you become aware of sexual harassment on the Internet.

Knowing that you and your friends could become potential targets for sexual predators and using caution in this regard, will help everyone to avoid becoming targets in the future.

Remember that each one of you is a person of worth and should be treated with respect at all times, on the Internet.

The Importance of Self Control for Weight Loss: Successful Weight Control

“If only I could control my weight!” may appear to be wistful thinking on your part. Know that you are not alone, as many others think the same way. Be aware that you can control your weight successfully. 

Understanding that it is possible to achieve successful weight control is important, because why would you want to undertake something like weight control, unless you thought that you could succeed?

Be aware that you are the one and only person in control of your weight. In fact, your weight is one of the variables in your life that you can actually change, if you choose to do so. 

“How do I go about weight control in such a way as to guarantee success?” may be another question.

There are no guarantees. Your success will depend upon you, the decisions that you make in the immediate future and the long-term actions you choose to take. 

Becoming serious about controlling your weight is important. Anyone who is serious about weight control will probably find a way to succeed. Once you have become serious about taking control of your weight, then you will need to look more seriously at what is involved, in terms of weight control principles and practices.

Do you know the difference between weight loss, weight loss maintenance and weight loss management?

Many people, who are serious about losing weight, do not realize that these are the three, most important aspects of successful weight control. Weight loss, weight loss maintenance and weight loss management are different stages that you will go through, when you become serious about assuming control of your weight.

Weight loss involves taking the weight off, in the first place. Weight loss maintenance involves maintaining the new weight that you have achieved, once you have succeeded in losing the initial weight. Weight loss management, involves keeping the initial weight off permanently.

You do have other options, as well. The choice is yours, as after all, you are now the one in control of your weight.  

Once you have lost weight initially, you can decide what you think is the ideal or the most appropriate weight for you. You will be making this decision. You can allow yourself to regain some weight, if you feel that you may have lost too much weight initially or if you feel uncomfortable in some way, about your weight loss. You may feel that you look too thin to appear healthy. In that case, allow yourself to regain some weight, but do so cautiously. It is easier to put on weight, than it is to take it off again.

You also have the option of deciding to maintain the new weight that you have achieved. Perhaps you find that you are satisfied and happy with your general appearance, once you have lost the initial weight. When you see others responding to you and your initial weight loss in a positive manner, it will help to re-enforce your desires, thoughts and feelings about maintaining your weight. Then, you need to consider continuing the principles and practices of long term, effective, weight control.

You may choose to lose more weight, if you think or feel that you would be more comfortable, happier or healthier by doing that. Sometimes it is easier to lose weight a bit a time, rather than making the decision to lose a lot of weight, all at once. Set some goals and begin to work on them.

By addressing the issue of weight control, you will be entering into a brand new phase in your life. You are starting out on a new pathway of self-improvement and setting an example for others to follow. Over time, you will develop a new sense of self-esteem, as you see yourself setting more goals and actually reaching them, in terms of successful weight control.  

The Part Time Job Decision: Should Teens Have Part Time Jobs?

Having part-time jobs can present wonderful experiences for teens. Thus, when one asks, should teens work part-time jobs, one must respond in the affirmative. Teens should work part-time jobs, but again, that is their decision, individually and collectively.

Most teenagers are excited about having part time jobs because by working, they are able to do something positive and constructive for themselves, their families and others. This is a crucial time for teens, as many of them need and want directives. Most are seeking employment guidance with an eye to the future. Full-time jobs may not be appropriate at this time in their lives.

Teens are often able to supplement their incomes by finding part-time jobs, if necessary. When parents cannot afford to send their teens to college or university, teens may still be able to pursue higher education by obtaining part-time jobs. Not every teen has to work, but many will opt to find part-time employment, if given the choice.   

Parents, teachers and others, often show a more positive attitude and increased respect for teens that work or are ambitious enough to start their lifetime careers early, with a part-time job. Many teens are happier when they work part-time. It gives them a sense of identity, fulfillment, accomplishment and achievement. They may also find inner satisfaction, as they learn different values. Being with others often draws teens up to a higher peer level.

Working gives teens something to do with their spare time. Those who might get into trouble early in their teen years, usually find part-time employment is more socially acceptable, as well as profitable. Of course, there are no hard and fast rules for teens who work part-time jobs. Every teen is unique with respect to what he or she can do in terms of employment. This has to do with his or her age, academic status and other activities, but most teens really do want part-time jobs.

Some teens prefer full-time jobs and are able to obtain them during the summer, because they have had part-time employment at other times of the year. Finding part-time work is not always easy for teens, as job placement and the availability of work on different levels, can vary considerably.

The number of hours a teen should work may differ, often depending upon his or her health status, ability to cope and responsibilities at home. Transportation and mileage may be other important factors to consider.  

Parental approval is important with regard to teens and their part-time jobs. Parents, who are ambitious or have entrepreneurial spirits themselves, are more likely to want their teens to have part-time employment. If they worked as teens, they are likely to want their own teens to do the same, particularly if it was a good experience for them.

Some parents insist their teens have part-time jobs, while others prefer their teens spend all of their time in goal-oriented, academic pursuits. At times, teens can find employment in their academic areas of preference, but not always.

Generally, teens will benefit in many ways from experience gained through part-time jobs. They can encounter a wide variety of opportunities to learn new ideas and concepts. Teens begin to accept different responsibilities and are often able to develop more advanced skill sets. They can be in contact with others from different communities and cultural backgrounds. Teens begin to see and understand how the corporate world functions, depending upon the kind of work they obtain. They may find opportunities to travel.

Teens with part-time jobs at an early age often become leaders at home, in college or university and in their communities. They can develop mentoring skills and then move on to greater achievements at an earlier age, than those who choose not to have part-time jobs. They are more likely to be hired than students who have never had part-time employment experience.

Should teens work part-time jobs? Doing so can be a lot of fun for them and a profitable experience, at the same time.

The Claims of Jesus: Voice of Authority and Allegory as a Teaching Tool

In the claims made by Jesus about Himself, He spoke with a voice of authority, using allegory as a teaching tool. To understand the significance of these claims, it is important to become familiar with the details of His birth, life, crucifixion, resurrection and ascension, as recounted in the four books of the New Testament,  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. It is also important to understand the power of His authority in conjunction with His use of allegory, as a teaching tool.

Note that the Old Testament recounts the earlier history of the Jewish people. The other books in the New Testament, give an account of the later growth of the early Church. Please note that all Biblical references in this article are from the New King James Version.

In this context, let us begin to examine some of the claims made by Jesus about Himself, specifically those that are contained in the Book of John. 

Jesus as a Teacher

In John 1:38, the disciples of Jesus refer to Him as “Rabbi, (which is to say, when translated, Teacher)” because they have already begun to perceive Him, as their spiritual Teacher. Over time, they begin to teach others to regard Jesus, in that same light and thus, His teachings continue throughout future generations. Jesus speaks to His disciples with a voice of authority, one that is distinct for that era. Two thousand years later, 

His teachings are still valid, all around the world. In His own era, Jesus was widely respected for the claims that He made about Himself. Those claims are still valid today too. The very first experience that Jesus had as a Teacher took place in the Temple, when he was still young. Even at an early age, the Rabbi recognized His ability to teach others.  

The use of allegory

Note that in His claims about Himself, Jesus uses concepts, images and symbolism, an allegorical writing technique. In all four accounts of the life of Jesus, allegory is a viable teaching tool that conveys His message to others.

The limits of human understanding

Be aware that the claims made by Jesus about Himself exceed the understanding of humankind, until such a time as God opens their eyes, ears and understanding to see, hear and comprehend His Word. While what He stated remains true today, it often becomes a controversial topic for some people, while there are others who understand that what He has stated is true.  

What did Jesus claim about Himself?

Jesus stated, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” John 14:6     

In this verse, Jesus leads his disciples directly to God, using basic concepts portrayed in three words claiming to be the way, the truth and the life. Together, these words serve as a viable road map, indicating the direction, purpose and ultimate goal of His teaching for humankind. Jesus shows his disciples and others the way to God. Of course, this is in terms of their understanding with the singular purpose of teaching the truth and the ultimate goal of eternal life.

“I am the resurrection and the life.” John 11:25

Note the continued use of allegory here, as God reveals Himself and His divine love for humankind, through Jesus and the Word that He brings to humankind. Ultimately, it is a message of victory over death.  

Remember that these are the direct teachings of Jesus to His disciples. This is easier to comprehend when one considers the context in which this Scripture stands. 

“He who believes in me though he may die, he shall live.” John 11:25

Although natural death is possible, there is eternal life. 

“I am the light of the world.” John 8:12

Jesus reveals the Word of God through the power of His Holy Spirit, which brings about the enlightenment of humankind. What humankind cannot perceive in the darkness of sin, they can understand when they seek forgiveness.

This becomes even more evident when He declares,

“He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” John 8:12      

Note that at this point, the Pharisees start to accuse Jesus of bearing false witness. He defends Himself successfully, but there continues to be those who do not understand what He is stating. These are the unbelievers. 

“I am the bread of life.” John 6:48

The claim made by Jesus about being the bread of life compares manna, as portrayed in the Old Testament to living bread.

“This is the bread which comes from heaven that one may eat of it and not die.” John 6:50

Remember that the manna, as depicted in the Old Testament only sustained natural life, but did not ensure eternal life through redemption. Bread is an allegory, a symbol of spiritual food, with which Jesus fed His disciples and others, thereby bringing about redemption and eternal life. By the claims made by Jesus, He draws His disciples upwards spiritually toward redemption, as they begin to understand what He is teaching them

“I am the gate for the sheep.” (“I am the door of the sheep.” John 10:7)

Jesus allegorically compares His disciples and others who follow Him, using the imagery of sheep. This is common language that people of this era, are able to comprehend. Even children understand. Whoever serves in the capacity of the gate or acts as the door for the sheep, becomes the shepherd who also protects the sheep. Note that Jesus is aware that there are other shepherds who are not good shepherds, as they fail to protect their sheep. He regards these shepherds as being evil. Jesus assures His disciples and others that what He is doing is of God and thus, it is good. His teaching is the work of a good shepherd. Remember that throughout all of these claims about Himself, Jesus continues to teach His disciples and they in turn, become empowered to be the teachers of the Word of God. 

The claims of Jesus are not the natural claims of just any man. These are spiritual claims made by God Himself, through the human-divine man known as Jesus. The birth of Jesus came about through divine conception. He was born and raised as the son of Joseph and Mary. At this time in His life, when He is making these claims about Himself and teaching others, He is already a full-grown man, but one who portrays Himself as a lowly, humble man, merely a shepherd. .

Jesus also makes further claims about being the good Shepherd, when He states,

“The good Shepherd gives his life for the sheep.” John 10::11

He is ready to offer his life for His followers.  

There is another claim made by Jesus.

“I am the good shepherd; and I know my sheep, and am known by my own.” John 10:14.

In this context, knowing refers to revealed truth or the awareness of divine truth. Because the disciples know Jesus and the truth of His claims and teachings, they follow Him and in turn, teach others to do the same.   

“I and the Father are one.” John 10:30

God’s Holy Spirit reveals divine truth to humankind. The oneness of Jesus and God is evident, but this only becomes possible through revelation from God’s Holy Spirit. It is beyond the natural truth perceived by humankind. 

“I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener.” (I am the true vine and my father is the vine dresser.) John 15:1

The allegorical teachings of the claims made by Jesus about Himself, include the use of imagery derived from the vineyard. This is vocabulary and imagery common to that era, as well as concepts the disciples and other members of their communities are able to comprehend. Note how Jesus compares the true vine that bears fruit, to those vines that do not. He does not take the credit for the branches that bear fruit, but rather gives God all of the glory and honor.         

“I am the vine, you are the branches.” John 10:5

Interestingly, the allegory continues further, with the use of more natural symbolism. Jesus claims to be the vine. Vines grow branches that spread out. His disciples and other followers become the branches that continue to spread the teachings of Jesus, around the world.  

In conclusion, one must state that the claims made by Jesus, documented in His own words, have survived the test of time. Biblical truth stands while non-truth cannot stand. The power of His voice of authority, coupled with the use of allegory, generates this message in such a way that is both potent and permanent. It is an indisputable message about the love of God for humankind, conveyed through the claims made by Jesus about Himself. .