Why Do Relationships Fail?

Two falling stars or two shining stars?

It would appear that relationships are much like two stars colliding or passing each other, in the night. 

Suddenly, one of the stars starts to tumble, for some unknown reason; perhaps the other falls, too. Then, there is the scenario of two falling stars, with a long trail of light reflected behind them. Maybe that trail is not a light as such, but just the reality of friction, the collision having created sparks others can see.

When people get involved in relationships, it is because one or the other, perceived something that attracted him or her, to another person. Reality is such that times change and so do peoples’ needs. As a result, often the two parties begin to head in opposite directions.

For example, in a marriage, a man wants to find his excitement in gambling, drinking, nights out with the boys and so on, while his wife wants to have a happy life, at home with her husband and children. Can the two stay in a relationship unless one concedes? Probably not.

In another scenario, a man desires to be a successful business person, which involves hours and hours of extra work, at night. His wife also works, but desires some kind of a social life in the evening hours. Can these two stay in this relationship and succeed at marriage? Maybe, but maybe not.

Again, every relationship is different. There is complexity and diversity in relationships, particularly in terms of individual interests and concerns. Can a man who desires to support world peace movements all over the globe, stay in a relationship, where that is not an interest, as far as his spouse is concerned? What if tea parties are her thing?

Looking at relationships in terms of lifestyles and interests is not enough. There is also the perception factor. When one sees black and the other sees white, conflict results immediately. Is it possible for both to see in the same way? That may happen in some instances, but that does not happen very often.

Christianity has a lot to do perception in many ways. Love of God and one another offers a sound foundation for marriage. Remember that there can still be differing degrees of understanding, in terms of the word love. It is quite likely that seriously committed Christians will stay together, even overcome their differences in time, if only for the sake of the family unit. That is not always possible either.

Faithfulness is important in terms of relationships and so is forgiveness. Each one of us falls short, at some time, but we don't have to be perfect in life or in marriage.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were all perfect? Then we would have no differences of any kind and that might get boring.

Boredom is one factor that causes relationships to fail. One spouse gets bored with the other or challenges him or herself mentally, while the other does not. Who winds up getting bored? Both do, because they are traveling in opposite directions.

Like stars that meet in the night, sometimes, it is only on a collision course and then, they fall or move in another direction. People will always be in some kind of a relationship with someone. How long that relationship lasts, depends on how mutually satisfying that relationship is to for both of them.

When relationships end, sometimes it is the best thing that could have happened for either one or both of the parties? Maybe an extended family was supposed to grow on one side of the relationship or on both sides of that relationship?

What is more important than why relationships fail is the question of what we can do to help relationships to succeed. We want to see two stars shining brightly in the night, though falling stars can appear to be romantic, at times too.