Reflections on Children's Laughter

On children's laughter: How will parents know they have succeeded? 

From a Christian perspective, each baby is a wonderful gift from God.

Suddenly, with a loud cry, a new baby announces its arrival to the world, a world filled with many joys and sorrows. How wonderful that first cry seems to us,  because we know that the baby has arrived safely. 

Hopefully, the infant is born into a family who will celebrate his or her birth and welcome the infant child or the children, in the case of multiple births, with open arms and loving hearts.

This is not an easy time for parents, either for first-time parents, or parents with other children. But, who ever promised that it was going to be easy?

For new parents, this can be a trying time, as everything about babies is so new. For those who are parents again, it can be just as trying, as no two births are the same and no two children are the same. While the parents feel that they know everything that there is to know about babies and that they are prepared for the birth, in reality, each child's birth can be different, as well as traumatic.

All of a sudden, the new mother and father are confronted with a situation unlike anything that they have been through before and they can be frightened, wondering how they will meet the needs of their new offspring.

Consider it from the infant's perspective for a moment.

For nine long months, the baby has been growing and thriving in a warm, comfortable and safe environment. Suddenly, the infant finds himself or herself thrust into a new environment. It is a world that appears to be strange, unlike the womb from which the infant has just emerged.

That environment is not quite so comfortable or warm. The baby is stunned, at first, by the sudden change in temperature. One of the reasons the newborn cries when it is born, is because of the temperature change. It is a shock to his or her system.

Imagine the sound effects. The new world is not a quiet place!

All of a sudden, the infant opens his or her eyes. No one knows at what moment that infant begins to hear and see or exactly what the newborn child hears and sees. How he or she will react to the new sights and sounds is unpredictable.

The newborn baby is cold after he or she is born, because the world into which he or she has been born, is not the same temperature as that to which the infant has become accustomed. Even dressed in appropriate clothing, the infant child may begin to shiver, as the body's way of compensating for the sudden change in temperature. It becomes important that the newborn baby is kept warm.

The infant is used to being as "snug as a bug in a rug" and suddenly, he or she is not feeling secure. Why not? 

What the child would have been hearing is the sounds from the mother's body. The infant knows how it feels to be held tight within the womb, which has been wonderfully comfortable. Suddenly, the baby can move about more freely, but a newborn baby is not used to having that kind of freedom. That can cause the infant to panic, at least momentarily.

Any strange, new sounds may startle or awaken the infant, because he or she is able to hear. Any unusual activity or lights in the room may cause the newborn to become alarmed or frightened. Imagine the reality of touch and textures alone. We live in a world of touch and texture, which can totally overwhelm the newborn.

Virtually everything is new and different. In time, the baby will accept his or her new world and being instinctively curious, he or she will begin to explore that environment.

Remember that the newborn child has been obtaining all of its nourishment without any effort on his or her own part, having been fed via the umbilical cord, while in the womb. Now all of a sudden, that source of nourishment is no longer there. The umbilical cord has been permanently severed.

It is a shock to the infant's system and the newborn child becomes increasingly aware, that he or she is hungry. The newborn infant may or may not have learned how to suck on his or her fingers, while in the womb. Now, it is dependent upon the sucking reflex to obtain food and water.

While there are many natural instincts that the infant is born with that may begin to take over immediately, this is a different world. These instincts still need to be developed further.

And while in one sense, the infant knows his or her mother and father, in many other ways, he or she does not recognize the new parents. Time has a way of taking care of that situation, but in reality, it will take time for both of them to adjust to each other. This is a new relationship that needs to be developed and nurtured.

It is said that ‘we all enter the world alone and in many ways, that is true. The newborn can feel alone, until such a time as he or she becomes accustomed to his or her parents, as well as to others, including siblings. 

So much depends upon how the parents react to the newborn infant, instinctively.

Having another older sibling in the family can create additional concerns, even though for the other sibling, it can be a wonderful experience. Suddenly, the older child's world is changed and he or she is no longer the center of the parent's attention. The older child or children need some time to adjust to the reality of a new baby in the household.

With the birth of an infant, there are so many factors to take into consideration, it is a wonder that any parents succeed in parenting. Take heart, as God has provided all of the solutions. Sometimes it is up to the parents and the children to find the answers. What may work for one family may not necessarily work for another.

Persisting, over time, with love and a patience, the parents and the newborn, as well as other the siblings, will come to know and love each other. All of the newborn's needs will be met, as well as those of the older sibling or siblings.

But how will the parents know that they have succeeded in parenting?

One of the most joyful sights parents will see is the smile on the face of a newborn.

One of the most rewarding sounds that they will ever hear is that of children's laughter. To hear the sound of a new born baby crying and an older sibling's laughter is just one more miracle of life. It may appear to be a combination of joy and sorrow, when it is really a parent's portion of joy with a difference, ie. a double joy.