Tips for Counseling Adult Learners

Counseling adult learners can be very rewarding

Counseling an adult learner is not always easy, but it can be very rewarding. No counselor knows exactly what to expect from a counselee and an adult learner often comes out of a complex scenario. He or she may come to counseling sessions feeling extremely unhappy, depressed or experiencing fear.

"I am terrified!"

An adult learner may also present himself or herself with an aggressive, angry, know-it-all attitude that can be extremely intimidating to any counselor.

"You are not going to tell me what to do!"

Ideally, the immediate reaction by a counselor to an adult learner should be one that is positive and constructive.

"I am honored to have you come to me for counseling. How can I help you?"

The opposite can occur also. The counselor may react with fear and trepidation. Professional counselors may not enjoy counseling adult learners, if they may feel threatened by them, in one way or another.

"That person is always so intimidating. I know every single session is going to be extremely difficult."

Remember that the adult learner places himself or herself in a more humble position, than a younger person. Having to ask for help as an adult learner, is never easy. It can be a humiliating experience, particularly for someone who has been happily married and highly successful in his or her life, career or business.

Here are some tips for counseling adult learners.

Welcome the adult learner warmly.

As a counselor, it is the counselee who is coming to you for help. You are the professional, trained and skilled helper, who is in an excellent position to help him or her. He or she may not be aware of that fact. 

You know that you cannot make the decisions for the counselee. The counselee may not realize that. What you can do is to offer suggestions or discuss possible options or other alternatives. The counselee is ultimately the one who has to make all of the decisions about his or her life.

Treat the adult learner with love, respect and integrity.

As a counselor, how you treat the counselee initially, may set the mood for all future counseling sessions. Regardless of the counselee's race, creed, color, age, ability or past history, the initial encounter with the counselee, as well as all future counseling sessions with the counselee, should be ones in which there is a attitude of respect from the counselor. Treating him or her properly, gains the respect of the counselee.

Discuss the immediate, short term and long term expectations of the adult learner.

Find out why the counselee has come to you for counseling and what his or her expectations are, for the future. Do not make any immediate assumptions. Until you have spent time talking with the counselee, you may not know why he or she has come to you, as a counselor. Be an active listener. Watch for the hand-on-the-door syndrome, where the counselee finally discloses the reason for his or her visit, as he or she is leaving.

Discuss your immediate, short and long term expectations with the adult learner.

Make certain that your counselee knows that you have expectations of him or her. Be realistic with your expectations and take into consideration any extenuating circumstances. Keep your relationship with the counselee on a professional level, at all times.

Expect the adult learner to bring some old baggage to counseling sessions.

An adult learner may bring many unrelated experiences, events, issues, problems and concerns to counseling sessions. Encourage the counselee to focus on what pertains to the reason why he or she has come to see you. Allow the adult learner to share his or her past life experiences or problems, if they are pertinent. Seek effective resolution for them or re-direct the counselee to someone else who can assist him or her. For example, if they are financial issues, unrelated to why you are seeing the counselee, suggest a credit card or debt counselor.

Discuss his or her background education, training, skills and employment experience, in relation to the current issue. Recognize the reality that you may be able to draw from these in order to counsel him or her effectively.

Encourage the active learner to participate in active role playing.

Active role playing can help the adult learner to refocus on issues, but from a different perspective. For example, if the problem is a family issue of concern, role playing with the counselee, from the perspective of another family member, may help the counselee to resolve the issue.

Introduce new methods of communication, education and training.

Acknowledge the merit and value of previous kinds of education, skills or training that the adult learner has had, but encourage the counselee to explore current modes of communication, education and training. For example, engage the counselee in active research about his or her problem, on the Internet.

Encourage the adult learner to interact and relate to others.

Many times, peer counseling can be an effective method of problem resolution. While a young counselor may not be able to relate to certain issues pertaining to adult learners, his or her peers may be in position to relate better and share these concerns realistically. Involving others will help the adult learner to focus on the resolution of those kinds of problems.

Set appropriate goals, including time frames, with the adult learner.

Encourage the adult learner to set his or her appropriate goals with your guidance. Have him or her present the goals in writing. Discuss the goals with the counselee. Ascertain whether they are realistic, in terms of the proposed time frames. Together, adjust them so that they are suitable.

Schedule follow up counseling sessions, as needed.

Several counseling session with an adult learner, may be more appropriate than one, lengthy counseling session. There will likely be more than one issue that needs to be resolved. Deal with one issue per counseling session, if possible.

Recognize when a counseling session should be ended.

If you see a counseling session has achieved what you expected, anticipated or hoped it would achieve, bring the session to a close. If your relationship with the counselee is deteriorating, do not continue with that counseling session. Advise the counselee to think about what you have discussed and book a counseling session for another time. Remember that many counselees want immediate answers, long before they have worked out their problems.

Do not allow any kind of abuse in a counseling session.

Here is a word of caution with respect to counseling adult learners. Counselees may go to counseling sessions and become abusive. They may blame the counselor for their problems or their failure to resolve their issues and concerns. Make certain that you counselee knows that you are not available for abuse and do not tolerate it, at any time. Advise the abusive counselee that it will result in termination of all counseling sessions. Do not put yourself in jeopardy. Advise him or her to seek counseling elsewhere, if necessary.

In conclusion, one must suggest that the effectiveness of counseling adult learners depends upon the immediate establishment of an appropriate relationship between the counselor and the counselee, as well as the continuation thereof, throughout the counseling sessions.

Counseling adult learners is an art that is learned, partly through experience. It can be rewarding for the counselor and counselee.